Source: M.K., Copyright Candace Charlton, 2011, used with permission
In our previous posts, we introduced you to what self-empathy is and the importance of noticing that which takes place within your own experience. We showed how noticing with self-empathy brings insight into your own mental reactions and habits as well as the possibility to consciously act and react in the world surrounding you. Yet in order to do so, one needs to have the courage to explore, which requires us to contract ethical responsibility.
Ethical exploration and agreement
Working with others to provide an encouraging presence or a healing space requires providing a conducive environment for the person you are working with or caring for. This helps them to get in touch with themselves and how they think, feel, and do things. Equally, transforming yourself in response to the person you are working with requires creating a space conducive for you to explore more about yourself. This, too, is self-empathy. You are encouraged to be in touch with your experiences and this includes how you think, feel, and do things in your work context.
To be able to be in touch with these aspects, it is important that you explore ethical responsibility. You commit yourself to be true to any insights about your own thoughts, feelings, and actions you might become aware of. You bring clarity and space to your inner experienced world. It is a form of respectful inner listening, with a readiness to take seriously whatever signals arise internally. It opens you up, yet you are not swept along by the experience itself as when you feel overtaken by an emotion. You also do not look for ways to change what you experience in any direction, you only observe and sense what really takes place.
‘Whilst working on a recent project, John became withdrawn and no longer contributed in discussions related to the project he was managing. John’s client, Jennifer, had pointed out, in a sharp tone, shortcomings in his contributions. He felt criticized, did not want to expose himself to further humiliation and reacted by holding back on voicing any further contributions.'
When John felt criticized by Jennifer, the experience was overwhelming and he was swept along by it. Yet, he was not aware of the experience in himself. His attention remained on Jennifer. He thought that she was unreasonable in her demands. And that she had an attacking personality. He wasn’t aware of his own thoughts, feelings or indeed actions in response to Jennifer. He hadn’t practised self-empathy, and consequently he wasn’t able to empathize with her.
Centring practice
To begin the process of finding the inner resources to be adequately available to another person, we need to find a quiet, inner space with which to land. It requires first carving an introspective, reflective space for yourself. This can be done by taking ownership with your mind of the whole of the space inhabited by your body. One possible way is to close your eyes, and scan with awareness through each area of the body, an exercise called the ‘body scan’ in mindfulness practices. As soon as you turn inward into your current bodily presence, you will most likely notice that your bodily experiences have a story to tell. There might be tension, fatigue, nervousness or calm, or there might be something else. Every mental state has a bodily expression.
Active sensation
The mind and the body interact with each other, just as a hand fits into a glove, and the glove holds the image of the hand. By being more aware of the shape or gesture of your body, you will be more aware of the state of your mind, and at the same time create space within your body for more awareness with your mind. Following centring practice, you may notice an area of your body where there is intense sensation. You can focus on this sensation by giving it a shape or gesture represented with your hands. You can intensify the shape with your hands or your body until it matches the sensation. You can give a meaningful name with a few descriptive words.
Doing this helps you to hold a space for yourself and your experiences and sensations and yet not be enslaved to what these sensations demand of you. You literally create the space to open yourself up to a world beyond your own consciousness.
In our next post, we will discuss the importance of recognizing and suspending assumptions in self-empathy. Please do look out for it to expand your picture of self-empathy.
FAQs
Abstract. Background: Empathy is a contested concept in the field of care ethics. According to its proponents, empathy is a unique way to connect with others, to understand what is at stake for them, and to help guide moral deliberation.
What is empathy and sympathy in professional ethics? ›
Empathy is the ability for a person to understand, share with and see a situation from another person's perspective or point of view and Sympathy is the feeling of sorrow or pity for the misfortunes of others.
Why is self empathy important? ›
It connects one's own flawed condition to the shared human condition so that greater perspective is taken towards personal shortcomings and difficulties.
What do you mean by ethics and give examples? ›
Ethics, for example, refers to those standards that impose the reasonable obligations to refrain from rape, stealing, murder, assault, slander, and fraud. Ethical standards also include those that enjoin virtues of honesty, compassion, and loyalty.
What is empathy in human values? ›
Empathy is the ability to emotionally understand what other people feel, see things from their point of view, and imagine yourself in their place. Essentially, it is putting yourself in someone else's position and feeling what they must be feeling.
What is an example of showing empathy? ›
For example, you likely smile and take the trouble to remember people's names: that's empathy in action. Giving people your full attention in meetings, being curious about their lives and interests, and offering constructive feedback are all empathic behaviors, too. Practice these skills often.
What is an example of sympathy ethics? ›
For example, consider the issue of child labour. On seeing a child waiter in a restaurant if a person is just feeling sad, then he is sympathetic. But if he also connects himself or own children with that child or memorizes any of his life experience, then he is empathetic.
What is empathy in a professional setting? ›
Leadership empathy fosters a positive work environment where individuals are motivated to give their best effort. “Empathy allows leaders to build meaningful connections and develop deep trust with every member of their team.
What does self-empathy look like? ›
Self-empathy involves recognizing, understanding, and validating our own emotions and experiences, just as we would with others. It means treating ourselves with kindness, compassion, and understanding, even in the face of our own mistakes or struggles.
What is the difference between empathy and self-empathy? ›
In simple words self-empathy is loving yourself, being kind to yourself and forgiving yourself. Cognitive empathy is not easy because it involves understanding the other person's feelings, thoughts and what he or she is going through in life. Cognitive empathy helps in settling disputes and better relationships.
Self-compassion means being kind and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism. We're warm and supportive when confronted with the imperfection of life rather than cold or harsh.
Why do I lack self empathy? ›
Fear of Negative Emotions
People who grew up in challenging backgrounds or experienced emotional abuse are less likely to have self-compassion than those who were raised in healthy environments.
What are the key concepts of empathy? ›
Key Points
There are three stages of empathy: Cognitive empathy is being aware of the emotional state of another person. Emotional empathy is engaging with and sharing those emotions. Compassionate empathy involves taking action to support other people.
Is empathy a virtue ethic? ›
Although some forms of empathy may not be morally important, empathy with another's basic well-being concerns is both necessary and sufficient to care for another's well-being, provided that one's empathy is both cognitive and affective. I further defend the idea that empathy of this form is a moral virtue.
Is empathy at the heart of ethics? ›
Empathy is at the heart of ethics. In order to develop a sense of right and wrong that goes past just being afraid of punishment or hoping for a reward, we have to be able to put ourselves in another person's shoes.
Is empathy a moral principle? ›
Studies in social psychology have indeed clearly shown that morality and empathy are two independent motives, each with its own unique goal. In resource-allocation situations in which these two motives conflict, empathy can become a source of immoral behavior (Batson et al., 1995).
